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Refine Your Writing

Poll: What do you think of your writing?
Total Votes: 10
It’s amazing!
0
It’s great.
2
It’s good.
4
I’m working on it.
3
Not so good.
0
I don’t like it at all.
0
I’m improving.
1
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Help your fellow members get better at their writing!
I’ll help whenever I’m available.
I’m a liberal arts major at college with a novel on the way, so writing is my expertise. wink

Whether it’s essays, or a story you want to finish. Get positive opinions and tips to improve!

     
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I’m not a good writer, and most members here know. BH, Steffy, Bubblez, and Kavi have each read at least one of my terrible fan fics. Being a bad writer is just who I am.

     
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littlems.fowl - 25 July 2012 02:22 AM

I’m not a good writer, and most members here know. BH, Steffy, Bubblez, and Kavi have each read at least one of my terrible fan fics. Being a bad writer is just who I am.

Do you want help? It doesn’t have to be who you are.

     
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i put that im working on it on the poll../
truth: I DONT KNOW!.  getting your mom and dad’s opinion is not what you want to do. i know. what they say is: mmm- its great. and i’m like noooooo! if you say it’s good then it isnt, then when you say its bad i take it hard. -.- so basically no parents opinion!
teachers: as i have said a billion times they say i’m the top in the 9th grade. but as i have said a billion times english is second language ( lemme tell you how bad they are. they say: ponko instead of poncho, and dyapers instead of daipers -.-. )
friends; same as teachers.

     
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littlems.fowl - 25 July 2012 02:22 AM

I’m not a good writer, and most members here know. BH, Steffy, Bubblez, and Kavi have each read at least one of my terrible fan fics. Being a bad writer is just who I am.

i dont believe that. post one of your writing right now! i wanna read it. i am pretty sure that they are wrong.

     
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af-fan - 25 July 2012 11:36 AM

i put that im working on it on the poll../
truth: I DONT KNOW!.  getting your mom and dad’s opinion is not what you want to do. i know. what they say is: mmm- its great. and i’m like noooooo! if you say it’s good then it isnt, then when you say its bad i take it hard. -.- so basically no parents opinion!
teachers: as i have said a billion times they say i’m the top in the 9th grade. but as i have said a billion times english is second language ( lemme tell you how bad they are. they say: ponko instead of poncho, and dyapers instead of daipers -.-. )
friends; same as teachers.

Hmm, sounds like those that were in my French class. “Bon-jore! Commay allay voo.” -_-’

It takes years to perfect your writing and get it to the point where you can say, “You know, I actually like what I did there, for once.”

The writing I had from 8th Grade to 9th, 9th to 10th,10th to 11th, and 12th to present vary drastically. I had a high vocabulary all the while, but simply hadn’t mastered using it.

Simple tips can help tremendously. Even something such as, “I notice you have a lot of clutter. Do you know why this is? It’s because this word and this word weren’t needed.” Once you know what to look for, that’s when the magic starts to happen.

     
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David Auteur - 25 July 2012 04:16 PM
af-fan - 25 July 2012 11:36 AM

Hmm, sounds like those that were in my French class. “Bon-jore! Commay allay voo.” -_-’

It takes years to perfect your writing and get it to the point where you can say, “You know, I actually like what I did there, for once.”

The writing I had from 8th Grade to 9th, 9th to 10th,10th to 11th, and 12th to present vary drastically. I had a high vocabulary all the while, but simply hadn’t mastered using it.

Simple tips can help tremendously. Even something such as, “I notice you have a lot of clutter. Do you know why this is? It’s because this word and this word weren’t needed.” Once you know what to look for, that’s when the magic starts to happen.

HAHAHA! what were they trying to say?
well thanks for the tip.
do you have an account on artemisfowl confidential? im thinking of making one. once i find out what exactly is done there raspberry

 

     
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af-fan - 25 July 2012 03:08 PM

i dont believe that. post one of your writing right now! i wanna read it. i am pretty sure that they are wrong.

I would give you my fan fic name so that you could read what I posted there, but as far as I can tell you’re not into any of the things I write fan fics for (Hetalia, Death Note, MLP).
Anyways, when I was little I used to think like a book. Like if I was washing dishes instead of thinking something like “I wish I had more soap,” my thought process would be “and she soon realized that her lack of soap would lead to difficulties.” It was really annoying. And then when I was even younger my thoughts were always spelled out, which was even more annoying because I suck at spelling. Anyways, I think it might have helped my writing.

     
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littlems.fowl - 25 July 2012 07:08 PM
af-fan - 25 July 2012 03:08 PM

i dont believe that. post one of your writing right now! i wanna read it. i am pretty sure that they are wrong.

I would give you my fan fic name so that you could read what I posted there, but as far as I can tell you’re not into any of the things I write fan fics for (Hetalia, Death Note, MLP).
Anyways, when I was little I used to think like a book. Like if I was washing dishes instead of thinking something like “I wish I had more soap,” my thought process would be “and she soon realized that her lack of soap would lead to difficulties.” It was really annoying. And then when I was even younger my thoughts were always spelled out, which was even more annoying because I suck at spelling. Anyways, I think it might have helped my writing.

ok. hey hey hey, i know a thing or two from MLP, dont have to be in it, i know all of the characters so yeah.

     
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i wrote this a while ago, before i even joined the site. can anyone, you know like read it and comment? thanks!
I woke up that day unable to remember anything. i found myself in the middle of a forest.I wasn’t hungry nor thirsty, rather sleepy. i outstretched my hands, grabbing at the roots to pull myself on my belly. My goal was a rock under a tree, but my scrawny hands made all my attempts feeble.
Then I saw something that grabbed my attention, a squirrel! I sprung up straight like a spring and darted after it. “Squirrel Squirrel” was all I could think, then ” Why am i chasing a squirrel?” So i slowed down, I was no longer groggy and decided to look for something. I didn’t know what i was looking for, but then it hit me, ” Car, i want a Car!”
So I looked for a car. All I found was a building with no cars parked out front. “Maybe they’re parked in the back.” I said and raced to the rear of the building, and i was suddenly in heaven. Cars everywhere! All blue and glittering! Now i know that they were police cars and that I was outside a police building. I found the one that was most shiny and scurried to it on all fours, literally.
I bit the tire, it tasted disappointingly horrible, like rubber of course, but from far it looked like a burnt piece of meat. While I sat on my bum moaning from misery and a throbbing tooth, a hand reached out from the blue and grabbed my collar.
Next thing I knew I was in a big white room filled with twinkling glass things filled with liquid, each container containing different colored occupants. One was green and bubbling violently, and another was white and fizzling softly.
After having countless and frequent shots and tests done on me, researchers dispersed all over the country to find more about me. Finally, the answer was found.
Deep in the forest they found a couple, more like a hairy man and a skeleton living in a cave. Interrogations took place between officers and the bushy man, in front of me sadly. I heard things that were etched in my brain unwillingly, things that will haunt me forever, true things that will make any sane person insane, and i also learned a fact that i didn’t want to know.
The man was not a man, but a werewolf. He fell in love with a human and well you can imagine the rest. The point is that I turned out to be their product, after living 11 years with them, they got tired of me. So they just hit me on the head to make me forget everything and left me there, in the forest, in the cold, what lovely parents.
So know I’m a half werewolf half human, I cant transform, I already look like i took a bath in very good hair tonic anyway. And I still live in a lab, held aloof from the world, because of two love birds who couldn’t care less about their children. Love birds, more or less. My “father” killed my “mother” and ate her because of the shortage of food supply, that explained the skeleton. Father regretted it so much, he came willingly and pleaded the police to kill him, to put an end to his misery. He was horribly wrong, his misery has not begun yet. And it isn’t the tests that scientists have been doing on him for so long that will bring this misery. I’m coming father, I’m on my way, start pleading for mercy from now.
p.s: not really adopted XD! i love my daddy!

     
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af-fan - 26 July 2012 06:10 PM

i wrote this a while ago, before i even joined the site. can anyone, you know like read it and comment? thanks!
I woke up that day unable to remember anything. i found myself in the middle of a forest.I wasn’t hungry nor thirsty, rather sleepy. i outstretched my hands, grabbing at the roots to pull myself on my belly. My goal was a rock under a tree, but my scrawny hands made all my attempts feeble.
Then I saw something that grabbed my attention, a squirrel! I sprung up straight like a spring and darted after it. “Squirrel Squirrel” was all I could think, then ” Why am i chasing a squirrel?” So i slowed down, I was no longer groggy and decided to look for something. I didn’t know what i was looking for, but then it hit me, ” Car, i want a Car!”
So I looked for a car. All I found was a building with no cars parked out front. “Maybe they’re parked in the back.” I said and raced to the rear of the building, and i was suddenly in heaven. Cars everywhere! All blue and glittering! Now i know that they were police cars and that I was outside a police building. I found the one that was most shiny and scurried to it on all fours, literally.
I bit the tire, it tasted disappointingly horrible, like rubber of course, but from far it looked like a burnt piece of meat. While I sat on my bum moaning from misery and a throbbing tooth, a hand reached out from the blue and grabbed my collar.
Next thing I knew I was in a big white room filled with twinkling glass things filled with liquid, each container containing different colored occupants. One was green and bubbling violently, and another was white and fizzling softly.
After having countless and frequent shots and tests done on me, researchers dispersed all over the country to find more about me. Finally, the answer was found.
Deep in the forest they found a couple, more like a hairy man and a skeleton living in a cave. Interrogations took place between officers and the bushy man, in front of me sadly. I heard things that were etched in my brain unwillingly, things that will haunt me forever, true things that will make any sane person insane, and i also learned a fact that i didn’t want to know.
The man was not a man, but a werewolf. He fell in love with a human and well you can imagine the rest. The point is that I turned out to be their product, after living 11 years with them, they got tired of me. So they just hit me on the head to make me forget everything and left me there, in the forest, in the cold, what lovely parents.
So know I’m a half werewolf half human, I cant transform, I already look like i took a bath in very good hair tonic anyway. And I still live in a lab, held aloof from the world, because of two love birds who couldn’t care less about their children. Love birds, more or less. My “father” killed my “mother” and ate her because of the shortage of food supply, that explained the skeleton. Father regretted it so much, he came willingly and pleaded the police to kill him, to put an end to his misery. He was horribly wrong, his misery has not begun yet. And it isn’t the tests that scientists have been doing on him for so long that will bring this misery. I’m coming father, I’m on my way, start pleading for mercy from now.
p.s: not really adopted XD! i love my daddy!

Interesting, very interesting. Would you like a critique? wink

     
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David Auteur - 27 July 2012 02:10 AM
af-fan - 26 July 2012 06:10 PM


Interesting, very interesting. Would you like a critique? wink

hmmm * taps fingers on table* actually a critique would not be a bad idea! XD
thanks david! ( again)

     
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LEGEND
(Comments by David)

af-fan - 26 July 2012 06:10 PM

i wrote this a while ago, before i even joined the site. can anyone, you know like read it and comment? thanks!
I woke up that (Consider rephrasing this first sentence. You want to catch the reader right away. Attention is easily lost if the intro. doesn’t have enough “oomph!” I like what you’re doing, but consider being more specific. “I woke up that day” makes it sound as if the reader just jumped in on a story midway. Imagery is a great way to go. Perhaps start with the forest, describing it, then move on from there.) day unable to remember anything. i (Capitalize those “i’s” wink ) found myself in the middle of a forest. I wasn’t hungry nor (Nor is a good word for certain circumstances. Not here. It’s better reserved for more witty and artful descriptions, dialogues, etc.) thirsty, (combine these thoughts with an “albeit,” “but,” “although,” etc.) rather sleepy. i outstretched my hands, grabbing at the roots (When you use “the” it makes a characterization. Here you want to generalize, and maybe add some description to make up for it.) to pull myself on my belly. My goal (Why a goal? The reader has no prior introduction to this goal, and the fact that the character is pulling themselves onto their belly with a bunch of roots doesn’t make them sound like they’re motivated to do anything. Focus on transitions. Each sentence should prepare for those following.) was a rock under a tree, but my scrawny hands made all my attempts feeble (Scrawny and feeble are somewhat redundant. Reword the description for full effect.).
Then I saw something that grabbed my attention, a squirrel! I sprung up straight like a spring and darted after it. “Squirrel Squirrel” was all I could think, then ” Why am i chasing a squirrel?” So i slowed down, I was no longer groggy and decided to look for something. I didn’t know what i was looking for, but then it hit me, ” Car, i want a Car!”
So I looked for a car. All I found was a building with no cars parked out front. “Maybe they’re parked in the back.” I said and raced to the rear of the building, and i was suddenly in heaven. Cars everywhere! All blue and glittering! Now i know that they were police cars and that I was outside a police building. I found the one that was most shiny and scurried to it on all fours, literally.
I bit the tire, it tasted disappointingly horrible, like rubber of course, but from far it looked like a burnt piece of meat. While I sat on my bum moaning from misery and a throbbing tooth, a hand reached out from the blue and grabbed my collar.
Next thing I knew I was in a big white room filled with twinkling glass things filled with liquid, each container containing different colored occupants. One was green and bubbling violently, and another was white and fizzling softly.
After having countless and frequent shots and tests done on me, researchers dispersed all over the country to find more about me. Finally, the answer was found.
Deep in the forest they found a couple, more like a hairy man and a skeleton living in a cave. Interrogations took place between officers and the bushy man, in front of me sadly. I heard things that were etched in my brain unwillingly, things that will haunt me forever, true things that will make any sane person insane, and i also learned a fact that i didn’t want to know.
The man was not a man, but a werewolf. He fell in love with a human and well you can imagine the rest. The point is that I turned out to be their product, after living 11 years with them, they got tired of me. So they just hit me on the head to make me forget everything and left me there, in the forest, in the cold, what lovely parents.
So know I’m a half werewolf half human, I cant transform, I already look like i took a bath in very good hair tonic anyway. And I still live in a lab, held aloof from the world, because of two love birds who couldn’t care less about their children. Love birds, more or less. My “father” killed my “mother” and ate her because of the shortage of food supply, that explained the skeleton. Father regretted it so much, he came willingly and pleaded the police to kill him, to put an end to his misery. He was horribly wrong, his misery has not begun yet. And it isn’t the tests that scientists have been doing on him for so long that will bring this misery. I’m coming father, I’m on my way, start pleading for mercy from now.
p.s: not really adopted XD! i love my daddy!

[/color]
Keep it up af-fan! smile You have a lot of potential. I’ll try and get you some more feedback soon, when it’s not past midnight… xD (sorry for any typos in my comments, whipped it up fast)

     
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These are things that i tell myself.
-Use concise wording.
-Minimize adjective and adverbs.
-Avoid convoluted imagery.
-Always reread any complex or compound sentence.
-Be willing to sacrifice description to maintain momentum.
-It’s not about using the biggest word, it’s about using the right one.

This all makes sense right

     
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Plyrx - 25 August 2012 03:54 AM

These are things that i tell myself.
-Use concise wording.
-Minimize adjective and adverbs.
-Avoid convoluted imagery.
-Always reread any complex or compound sentence.
-Be willing to sacrifice description to maintain momentum.
-It’s not about using the biggest word, it’s about using the right one.

This all makes sense right

Definitely. In fiction though, the necessity of concise wording can vary. Sometimes it’s best to elaborate for artistic purposes.

     
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Since I lack the endurance to write anything other than microfiction, I find that worldbuilding mostly just slows down the narration.  I think in the style of Tumblr, my homeland, it’s normal to go about without that much context.